As a grouse guide, I’ve heard all the excuses

Ruffed grouse hunters do have valid reasons for missing a shot. Few hunting environments are more difficult and challenging. Even with leaves down, the grouse woods can be dense.  It can be hard to see the dog on point, much less a bird thundering away through an aspen cut. And when grouse fly at 20 miles per hour, a hunter needs to make split-second decisions.

However, there are times when an easy shot—known as a butterball—is presented and missed. It happens to our guiding clients. It happens to me and I’m fairly certain it happens to anyone who hunts grouse.

No matter the circumstances of the missed shot, the excuses usually start flying. Or as one client corrected me this fall:  “Reasons for missing grouse were not excuses at all, but merely explanations of the facts.”

With tongue held firmly in cheek, here’s my list for 2012.

•    It’s too early in the day and I’m not fully awake.
•    It’s too late in the day and I’m tired.
•    It’s too dark.
•    It’s too bright.
•    The sun was in my eyes.
•    The bird flushed too far out.
•    The bird flushed too close.
•    I was too tired after rushing to the point.
•    I wasn’t ready for the flush.
•    I was off balance when the bird flushed.

•    My gun jammed.
•    My shell didn’t contain any shot.
•    I couldn’t get the safety off.
•    I forgot to eject the empty shells.
•    I was loading shells into my gun.
•    My choke is too tight.
•    My choke is too open.
•    The brush was so thick I never had a shot.
•    A tree was blocking my view of the bird.
•    My shotgun pattern went into a tree.

•    I was falling down.
•    I was getting up.
•    I saw the bird too late.
•    The bird flew too low.
•    I thought my partner was going to shoot.
•    I was letting my partner shoot.
•    The dog was in the way.
•    I had my head off the gun stock.
•    I got poked in the eye with a branch.

•    It was a left-to-right crossing shot; I prefer right to left.
•    A tree stopped my swing.
•    I shot too quickly.
•    I waited too long to shoot.
•    I shot behind the bird.
•    I shot above the bird.
•    I shot below the bird.
•    I shot in front of the bird.
•    I shot for the dog…twice.

•    My boot was untied.
•    My foot got caught.
•    My cell phone was ringing.
•    My glasses were fogged.
•    My glasses fell off.
•    I had the wrong color lenses in my shooting glasses.
•    My hat fell over my eyes.
•    My legs were weak.
•    I was having a sugar low.

•    My shells are too slow.
•    My gun is too butt heavy.
•    My gun is too barrel heavy.
•    My gun doesn’t fit me right.
•    My gun has an improper balance point.
•    The bird was too slow.
•    The bird was too fast.
•    There was too much air around the bird.

•    I think I may have hit the bird.